Ways Your Phone Can Ruin Your Relationship

A lot of people first met online. For a while, their relationship was down to texting and sending selfies, and they existed primarily in the digital world. A person interested in someone they’re texting will become inseparable from their phone even if they previously weren’t. 

So, a phone is good for your relationship, right? Well, not always!

Here are a few scenarios in which the opposite could be true.

Just keep in mind that the majority of examples listed below are not phone-exclusive. It’s just that phones are more commonly used than other devices, and there are more people with a phone-use addiction than any other device.

1. Distraction and a Lack of Presence

Sure, some people love that their partner is a big-time texter; however, they’ll quickly change their minds when they find out that this is the only way their partner will ever interact with them. A lot of relationships exist primarily in the digital world, and people actually shy away from seeing each other.

Moreover, people are sometimes glued to their phones even when their SO is right there. Now, don’t get us wrong, there’s nothing more intimate than being able just to browse your phone next to your SO while they do the same. However, there’s the time, the place, and the stage of a relationship for that.

Then, there are some people who are different in person. This causes a world of problems and sets dual expectations, which can really hurt you in a relationship. Getting to know a partner is already a problem, but having to get to know two different people (who can be very different) is additionally taxing. 

Overall, a smartphone addiction can make your mental health worse, and this will reflect on your ability to be a good partner, as well. 

Not only that, a lot of people meet online first and get into a physical relationship later. This means that they might not be the person that they present themselves as. When you start out like this, it might take a while until things start falling apart (depending on how interested you are initially and how tolerant/patient you are). 

2. Being too “Interested” in Their Device

We’re not even talking about a scenario where you’re so obsessed that you find the best spy apps listed for 2024, pick one, and install it on your phone. No, even something subtler can cause a massive rift in a relationship.

Let’s say you start peeking into their phone every time they pick it up and receive a message. Perhaps you’re glancing over their shoulder every time they’re typing something, whether they’re looking information up online or texting a friend. 

It’s even worse if they’ve had previous partners who are jealous, so they now have a ton of unresolved trauma that you have nothing to do with. In these scenarios, even a mild interest in their device can be interpreted as something controlling or distrustful. 

Have people found something? Why check their partner’s phones? Sure! Was it always naive and innocent? Of course not! Is the ratio of scenarios where you find nothing higher than the one where you actually uncover something? Not necessarily! 

Well, so what’s the big deal?

The big deal is that you’re tormenting yourself and your partner in the process. You’re not in court; you don’t need the evidence. If you don’t trust them to a degree where you’ll go out of the way to spy on them and not believe them even after you don’t find a thing, there’s really no point in keeping up with this game. 

The reason why the phone is to blame is that the majority of people know that if there’s evidence, it’s in this tiny device. This is why most of the jealousy in 21st-century relationships revolves around phones or manifests through phone disputes.

3. Relying on the Internet for Answers

There are a lot of apps that can help in your relationship. However, relying on these online solutions to be a fix-all method is going to cause nothing but trouble. You still have to put in the effort. 

You see, in the past, a relationship was something between two people. Today, an entire online community can be involved. 

Just take, for instance, the r/AITAH subreddit or, even worse, the r/relationship advice. If you’re done with the relationship and just want to get some affirmation that you should end it, this is where you need to go. However, if you want to keep your relationship alive, it’s probably best to stay away from such places. Here, people give you advice that they would never apply in their own lives. Moreover, if your partner finds the thread, you have a lot of explaining to do. 

Another thing you should understand is that friend groups on social media chat aren’t always the best source of advice either. Once again, people give advice that they wouldn’t apply to their own relationships. When they tell you what they would do, what they’re really telling you is what they would do if they were braver, had more integrity, and if there was zero risk of any consequences. In other words, it’s useless advice, and if your partner ever finds out, it will destroy your trust.

Lastly, platforms like Tinder and even Instagram provide you with so many imaginary choices that you’ll start believing that everyone’s replaceable. This makes people not want to even try and just assume the thank-you-next mentality. 

4. Increased Jealousy

In the past, for one to send you a message, they had to get your phone number. Even this was not too simple to pull off. Today, anyone can have thousands of followers on social media they don’t even know. 

They can send you unsolicited messages and photos, like everything you upload, and even write comments under your photos. Now, this can be completely naive, but to someone who’s already insecure and jealous, this can be a serious trigger, and proving that any of it is unwanted can be a significant challenge.

Is the phone to blame? Of course not, but there’s no denying that it’s making matters slightly worse. 

It gets even worse than that. You see, there’s nothing easier than for someone who follows you to make a false profile. There are even platforms out there that you can use to generate false tweets, and creating false chats is easier than it ever was before. 

In other words, you can be completely innocent, and someone can generate “evidence” that would cause problems in your relationship. Now, why would someone do this? The answer to this question is far more discouraging than you expect – the only thing preventing a lot of people from doing stuff like this more frequently is that they don’t know how.

All of this technology is now at their fingertips. 

They can even send it straight to your partner, who will have their own little outrage and breakdown before even confronting you about it. In the worst-case scenario, they won’t even confront you.

Modern Technology is Both a Blessing and a Curse

The worst thing about the above-listed is the fact that there’s seldom a couple out there who didn’t experience at least one (but most likely all) of the problems listed above. No, it’s not something that plagues only the youngest and the most phone-addicted of lovers. In 2024, this is an epidemic, and learning about these risks is the first step toward becoming more resilient to their effects and influences.